gool ol'days

enough abt all the things i hate. let those "things" tht hurt me go to hell. even tht dumb butterfly.
gooshlu said my blog was boring. so thought of writin abt somethin tht makes me happy. the only thing tht strikes me wen i say happiness is SADVIDYA. but thr is a long story tht goes before me joinin SADVIDYA.
aug 7th 2000, the day i bid bombay,my super friends adieu. i dint like mysore by the look of it. i met a handful of irritatin ppl. tht jus turned me off. then came the biggest flop of my life "my 9th an 10th std". vvvs as such is a nice school but i had to deal with a few cartoons- teachers included.my life was goin on --on the boring path. i had a tough time studyin kannada. the most DIFFICULTEST part was learin abt kuvempu,dha ra bendre, akkamahadevi, basavanna-their bdays.o god.i remember all my friends bdy frm my chaddi dosth to the latest 1.i even remember my friends brothers bdy.but damn i cldn memorize kuvempus bday!!!! me an my dad spent a lotto time together memorizing their kruthigalu, prashasthi an lot more. but WHAT THE HECK!!!! i got 93 in kannada. damn 93!!!! i gotto know my results in the midnight. u knw i was laughin the whole night. but my mom was goin on scoldin me 4 gettin 85 in science.kudos.can u beat it????
after the results, i was the talk of my road. all the aunties used to look at me an speak somethin with their friends. ppl used to congratulate me whenevr thy met me or jus start praisin me 4 my laurel. the best part was my dad was my publicity manager. he made sure everybody comes to knw abt my marks. i happened to attend a marriage , i went on the dais to give the newly wed a gift an guess wt thy knew abt my marks.thy started congratulating me,instead of me congratulating them. any function tht i attended all the ppl thr were like "whr is shilpa? i wanna meet her"but hell i am used to all this. i mean the fame an ppl yearnin to meet me an stuff.coz am gr8 u c.
then came the downfall- MY NAME WAS MISSING IN THE 1ST LIST THAT SADVIDYA ANNOUNCED DURING ADMISSIONS. all my friends were in. but me, the one who scored 93 in kannada, had to wait 4 the 2nd list. my name was the last in the 2nd list. damn.
now abt my fav institution,SADVIDYA: the classrooms were small. v were only 12 gals. v had to sit in the 1st bench no matter wt.6 of us had to sit in 1 bench. but all these negative things were nothin compared to the beautiful friends tht i made thr. those 2 years r very special to me. v 6, ashi, amrutha, kapi,bhavya,priyanka an me, did all the masti-- be it removin blow frm others vehicles or goin out of mysore or jus sittin in the class.u name it an v've done it.v've watched ALL kinda movies together.(i mean thriller,comedy,senti....idiot wat did u think,huh). they were upto some or the other mischief.writin songs in the class an gettin caught.givin some cute names to lec like delta,cakooo,hairband,huch rani sujatha, soori mama.principal of corridor.


each 1 wasunique in their own way. ashi was always upto listenin to dumb songs.kapi an her JOKES. god she corrupted all our minds. amrutha was the carin 1. bhavya was the 1 to plan the pranks--listenin to music in the class or watever. priyanka was the tubelight--she dint understand most of the jokes , but mind u she is not tht innocent.an i ,as usual the smart an good gal. how can i forget gooshlu???she irritated me to the core.but shes a friend 4 life.
i enjoyed goin to coll everyday. goin to coll was never a strain(unlike now). i never had to think before i spoke. i mean i could jus say watevr i wanted to. no thinkin, no hurtin, no cribbin-was the kinda policy thy followed.
v neither meet daily nor msg/call each other. but its still the same bw us. u guys rock my life.nobody can replace u guys in my life.

ITS "HIS"TORY

she loved him immensely.so did he. he said i luv u ...he said i'll never leave u. he said....
she listened to it all.she was flyin high.
but now things hav changed.he no longer likes her. but she still does. harsh words flew outta his dirty mouth. but she is still attracted to him.y y???he started ignoring her. but she, couldn c anybody nearing him. he said "ITS ALL OVER". this finally shattered her to pieces. it took her a lotta time,lotta days to get out of it.
when she finally got out of it she found herself adoring him with greater fondness. she wanted to b with him. sit beside him. hold his hands. but he hadn changed. he was still dancin with ego. he was enjoyin his life without her.
can a small fight rip 2 people,2 friends apart???? y did she still hav the same feelings 4 a person who dint give a damn abt her???? is luvin a person so bad??? y did he give his ego more prority than his luv???is ego greater than luv???
then y is ego playing such a big role in her life,my life, ur life????

My friend was no way near consolable when her heart was broken. i did everything to make her glee but all in vain. i felt like killin her coz she was not listenin to me. i felt all these things r so kiddish i mean heart breaks an all tht.
But now my views r totally different. I know how it feels when when somebody breaks ur heart,breaks ur trust.My mind is shatterd to a thousand pieces.

When we do not fully trust each other, we will try to increase our sense of security and avoid getting hurt by trying to control our friendship. This can take different forms, such as comparison ("I put more into the relationship than u "), jealousy ("how come u r having so much fun with someone else?") and competition ("I'll do that better than u"). When we cannot restore the trust and love in our friendship, it eventually breaks down. Then our friendship is reduced to a collection of negative behavior patterns such as blaming ("it's all your fault"), judging ("you're so aggressive that..."), avoiding ("I'm not willing to discuss this") and patronizing. We all hav felt or said the above words an lost some beautiful relationships.

I jus happened to read this poem somewhr:


I still see your face in my dreams
It hurts and it doesn't help at all
I still want you in my life as crazy as that seems
I want you to catch me when I fall

I still remember the first time we met
There was something so different about you
Your friendship was something I wanted to get
That smile when you said hi to me was so new

Out of no where you called me on the phone
I wanted to sit there and talk to you forever
You were so new, so crazy and unknown
I just knew that our friendship would never sever

Two years and we are barely holding it together
What happened to the way this all used to be
I never wanted you out of my life ever
I sat there for a long time pretending not to see

We decided to go out and make it all all right
It didn't work out of course we knew it couldn't
We couldn't even really stand each others sight
It shouldn't end this way but it did and I shouldn't

I miss you and everything you were to me
Ten years from now we will look back on it all
We will be older and finally be able to see
That friendship will stand the test of time and never fall

Its not over for me but if u say so i'll surely abide by it.

passing thoughts

jus wanted to potray the thoughts that are disturbing me right now. Dont know if it'll make any sense to u.




"When we make mistakes, we seek compromise but when others make a mistake we seek justice." Why do we always deal with negativity?We always see the negative stuff. We are all so good at finding others mistakes. Why is there so much of bitterness sorrounding us? Some people dont miss a chance to taunt you. Why such toxicity?

I think the reason behind this is our selfish motives. We always think about our unhappiness, our feelings. We never give a thought on how others feel when we make a statement, when we frown, when we over act!!!! Every human being is a mixture of emotions. But we dwell on the negativities. Each one of us have to swim through these expounding emotions-- be it ego clashes, wierd attitudes or arrogance or alienation.

All our actions are so entangled with others. We never digest the fact that our actions have an impact on others. I dont mean to say we need to be goodie goodie types, but we dont have any right to toxify the lives of people who are travelling with us in this journey of life.

The only solution to this is smile. This not only stops us from committing blunders but also keeps our co-travellers in merry. But make sure you've brushed your teeth before smiling.
Have a smiling face. We need not spread our bitterness or sadness around. A famous saying by swami vivekananda --"If you have a clouded face do not go out that day, shut yourself up in a room. What right have you to carry this disease out into the world?"

On Tuesday, this news swept across all the news channels 'Sanjay Dutt relieved by court'. 'Sirf Munna not a bhai' '13 saal ka vanvaas khatam' 'although found guilty for possession of armory, Sanjay can breath sigh of relief as all the TADA charges against him are withdrawn' Then many personalities like Salman Khan said 'He is a good person. We knew he will come out clean'. Mr Big B said "Dutt's family and our family have relations for years he's a good kid. He is like elder brother to Abhishek". His sister Priya Dutt said "we can sleep well tonight. It's a great relief"
Surfing through the channels, one news on BBC startled me. It read "Hisbul Mujahidin's most wanted terrorist 'Sohel Faisal' killed in Anantnag , India . Indian Major leading the operation lost his life in the process. Four others are injured.
It was past midnight , I started visiting the Indian channels, but Sanjay Dutt was still ruling. They were telling how Sanjay pleaded to the court saying 'I'm the sole bread earner for my family', 'I have a daughter who is studying in US' and so on. Then they showed how Sanjay was not wearing his lucky blue shirt while he was hearing the verdict and also how he went to every temple and prayed for the last few months.
I have nothing against sanjay dutt. I am nobody to blame him. He sure has managed to bring smile on many of our faces through munna bhai. Sure he did a lotta gandhigiri .Sure Sanjay Dutt has a daughter; Sure he did not do any terrorist activity. Possessing an AK47 is considered too elementary in terrorist community but then...
Major Manish H Pitambare got the information from his sources about the terrorists' whereabouts. Wasting no time he attacked the camp, killed Hisbul Mujahidin's supremo and in the process lost his life to the bullets fired from an AK47. He is survived by a wife and daughter who's only 18 months old.
he took the decision to attack the terrorists in the darkest of nights. He never thought about having a family and he being the bread earner. No news channel covered this since they were too busy with sanjay dutt.

Parents of Major Manish are still living and they have to live rest of their lives without their beloved son. His daughter won't ever see her daddy again.

there are some channels that air things about stars that embarrasses them. Things like breakup, temple visits, or it could be " y did she refuse to do this film?" .The channels also spend a lotta time on their past. "how was the relationship between the 2 when they enterted the film industry?". " are they jus FRIENDS?" But its sad to see people like major being unnoticed. So guys, please forward this message around so that the media knows which news to give importance, as it is a shame for us since this Army Major's death news was given by a foreign TV channel!!!

me got in TCS. damn super. congrats shilpa the gr8.

after a long time i thought of writin a blog. i was thinkin of a nice topic. but which ever way i think , i end up thinkihn abt the BEASTS that i encounter daily. so the best ting to do is continue writing abt my encounters with DEADLY animals.

it happened the day b4 i went to write tcs online test.i was studyin in my room. thn i switched on the comp an i jus touched my knee. an guess wt i felt something cold. was wearin a salwar 4 a change(my mom keeps remindin me "ur a girl, dress like a girl behave like a girl, adheg kelsa maadthiyo, how will u adjust an stay with ur in-laws" doooooooooralochane). sorry sorry deviated frm my topic. i found something cold on my knee.i got up an withered my pant an something fell down.u knw wt it was?A LIZARD. it was a baby lizard. it jus crawled away after fallin on the floor as if nothin had happened. even i sat down as if nothing had happened. thirgu nodlilla adhu. when a lizard can have so much of ego, shouldnt i hav some ego. the lizard should hav been thankful 4 spendin time with me or it should've said sorry. adrajji. so even i threw some ego around an let it go without speakin to it. i dint shout or make fuss. not a single word out of my mouth. shwetha, ur right am not afraid of lizards. good. u've understood me well in these 7 years. kudos.

thts abt the damn lizard. next animal. CAT. i luv cats more thn lizards,snakes an even more than mealy mouthed, fledgling SHUBHADA.(IS THE SPELLING RIGHT?).
i was sitting in the hall watchin a serial . i jus turned around an i saw A CAT near the sewing machine.it was lookin at me an i looked at it.it continued lookin at me an i continued lookin at it. b4 anythin could happen i shouted ammmmmmmmmmmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
that poor little cat was a male jaathi i suppose coz it ran away the moment i shouted amma.
my mom came to my rescue again.
i guess thts it abt animals. some of u would hav got bored by now. an some of u like shu an shwe would b actin as if ur gettin bored. mukha nodkoli ibru. an get well soon to both of u. if u both c ur faces together in the mirror. thn god alone can save u. i dnt think even he can

whenerver u are not in mood. u tend to forget the main thing. humour. u dnt laugh at small jokes. u forget to smile. Always smile coz tht takes u nearer to god, nearer than any prayer. never frown at anybody. coz u never know someone is fallin in love with ur smile. never crib.an wenever ur not in mood, plz dnt take any decisions. u end up embarrassing ur self.

ONE OF MY FAVOURITE QUOTES-The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours- it is an amazing journey - and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins."

never rely on anyone 4 any kinda support. time changes an so do people.

How is anger escaped?
It stays deep within me.
I think about what is lost,
and the anger rises inside of me.
Every where I look,
I see what should be mine.
Envy turns to anger,
I think to myself 'who are these people? ,
they do not deserve such a thing I have lost'
I think about what is lost,
and the anger rises inside of me.
It rises to such a degree,
that anger turns to tears.

Tears the mind can't tell are true,
Pain the heart can't share.
Anger wrapped up in deceit,
It's more than I can bear.

The scourge I lay upon you now,
You surely cannot break.
This curse will last for on and on,
You've made a grave mistake.

The anger causes pain inside,
Too deep to understand.
And the pain, in turn, will cause,
More malice to my hand.